A Mother's Love

I am greatly missing Sammie at the moment. As she is currently in foster care, I am only able to see her for 2 hours a week. Although I value every moment I can have with her, it does mean that in many ways I feel I do not know her as I used to. It is a strange feeling of loss - Sammie is still well and alive, but I have very little input into her life. There is one thing that will always remain though, and that is my love for Sammie.

Mary knew what it was like to lose a child. Because of this, I feel a connection with her. Losing Sammie to foster care and possibly adoption is not the same as what happened to Jesus, but it still hurts. Also, I take comfort in Mary also being both mine and Sammie's mother. There are many things I talk to her about- mostly about Sammie and what things are going on with her. Knowing she is there and that she loves me brings comfort while I go through this scary time.

I love Sammie more than anyone else on Earth, and would do anything for her. I hope to have her back soon, but if not, with the help of both God and Mary I will be able to cope. Soon will be the celebration of both Jesus' and Sammie's birth (she was born on 26th December) and I hope that I will be able to celebrate both of these days with her. If not, I just hope Sammie knows that whatever happens, I love her as only a mother can.

"Most highly favoured lady, gloria!"

But the angel said to her, 'Mary, do not be afraid; you have won God's favour.

Look! You are to conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you must name him Jesus.

I was not planning on becoming pregnant, though I also didn't try and stop it happening. I was not a Christian at that point- my thoughts were somewhere between agnostic and atheist. I was a 16 year old girl doing what some 16 year olds do. When the test was positive it was a surprise. I doubt it was as surprising as the angel visiting Mary though, telling her that she was to become pregnant with God's son, by way of the Holy Spirit.

Advent to me is about waiting and preparation, and there is no wait greater than that of being pregnant. There is much to prepare, ensuring that everything is ready for the arrival of the baby. The mother's body changes as the baby grows, and this comes with a mental change in preparation for an upcoming role. Mary was disturbed at first by the news that she was to carry the son of God, but with time came to accept it, and was able to celebrate this with her cousin Elizabeth. I also accepted the pregnancy after a few weeks, and this made it easier to deal with everything that had to be done.

I was at college towards the end of my pregnancy, and had to stop going at the beginning of December because I was too tired to continue to travel there, and to climb the stairs to the classroom. Mary however had no choice in having to travel at a late stage of her pregnancy, due to Joseph needing to go to Bethlehem for the Roman census. It is uncomfortable just walking when heavily pregnant- it must have been difficult to travel on a donkey across large areas of desert, not knowing exactly what to expect when you get there.

Of course, things were to get worse- once they arrived in Bethlehem there was nowhere for them to stay except in a stable with the animals. In this environment Mary gave birth- not exactly the sterile surroundings I was in at hospital. Labour is exhausting, and to have to undergo this in unfamiliar, undesirable surroundings is probably not what she wanted. However, she knew that this was what was intended for her and she accepted it all with faith. Laying her son in the manger, knowing who he was to be, she was probably the proudest of all proud mothers.